And here we go....

Make your own Countdown Clocks

Lighter Journey (post from October 3, 2008)

I haven't really had a chance to use this blog the way that I have wanted to - time restricts me otthe point where breathing takes making appointment times. But nonetheless, it's time that I start using this for the purpose that I created it for - to allow the people that I love a chance to be a part of my thought process - however insignificant it might be. I've made a decision - I've decided that I'm going to begin investigating the option of having weight loss surgery. It's been a long, hard thought process. I went through the stages of grief - first telling myself that it wasn't something that I needed and calling the people who had it done "cowards" and "lazy." I think that was just my way of lashing out at the concept - I didn't want to admit to myself that it might be something that I need to consider. But depression followed. As my weight has increased, my head has equated my expanding size to a decreased sense of self worth. What's really interesting is that I acknowledge that most of this drama is just a complex that I'm having - it's completely in my head. But, I think this is the answer to resolving it. I think that exploring weight loss surgery might give me the resolution that I need in order for me to be in the best situation that I can be in - it will give me the option of being content with myself. I'm sure it sounds crazy, but it's really how I feel. I'm planning to use this board to describe my experience - to vocalize my expressions. Feel free to comment at anytime - if I didn't want your opinions, there would be no point to making this board. But yeah,... here we go. Welcome to my truth....

Sentimental days

In a misty clouded haze

Of a memory that now feels untrue

I used to feel disguised

Now I leave the mask behind

Painting pictures that aren't so blue

The pages I've turned are the lessons I've learned

Somebody bring up the lights

I want you to see

My life turned around

But I'm still living my dreams

I've been through it all

Hit about a million walls

Welcome to my truth.. I still love

Welcome to my truth.. I still love

- Anastacia "Welcome to my Truth"