The Aftermath

Well, let’s go back to Monday. I got to the hospital around 6:15am. I was a little late, but it was negligible – they weren’t ready for me anyway. Once I got to the hospital, I found out that the lap band procedure would be performed first (since it is an outpatient procedure) and then the three gastric bypasses would be done after that. I was really nervous – a lot of tears, a lot of loneliness. Dr. Cavazos was so sweet about it. Before we went into the operating room, he was like “You know, you don’t have to do this.” I replied, “No, it’s not that I don’t want to do this – I’ve wanted this more than anything for the past year. I’m just having loneliness jitters and I miss my family. But THIS is what I want. I’m ready to rock and roll.” He smiled and we went forward. They took me into the operating room and I was masked. I breathed a couple of times and that’s when things got interesting.


I woke up to a somewhat heavy chest and this HORRIBLE tube down my throat. I was alarmed. The choking sensation was instant and my body immediately revolted against the tube. A nurse finally saw what was happening and dislodged the tube from my throat. I knew that I would be intubated, but waking up to that was completely uncomfortable. After I came out of recovery, they got me into a room and things were okay. They didn’t really stay that way though – I had to get up and walk. Getting out of that bed for the first time was like taking your first steps after a c-section. I felt SOOOooooooo pregnant. But, walking the halls was essential to making sure that I stayed blood clot free and healthy. Thank God there were three of us doing the same thing. Cathy, Maria and I would meet in the hall and walk together, talking about family and how we felt and how HOT our hospital rooms were. We would talk about everything we were looking forward to in the after-process of our journey. Having them there was such a blessing. I was glad to have some company who understood how I was feeling and who I could look at and see almost a mirror image of myself.

The second day in the hospital was MUCH better than the first. Instead of morphine by IV, they finally gave me something by mouth – and Loratab is loads better than morphine for this surgery. Since morphine has no anti-inflammatory component, the only thing it was really treating was the pain. Loratab is completely different. On the second day, I was able to do more laps, breathe easier and expel more of the gas that they used to inflate my abdomen to get to my stomach. Being able to get rid of that air made the pressure from the incisions easier to bear. The nurses said that our little group was infamous in the nurses’ station. One of the techs called us a “good group” because we lean on each other in order for all of us to succeed. That was comforting. I spent most of the time while I was in my room reading a Jodi Picoult book. I figured that if I took a novel that I know would have me emotionally riveted, I could keep my mind off of feeling lonely and missing Richard. Monday he called like six times. Tuesday he called a couple. It kind of hurt to see everyone else with their families surrounding them giving them support. I wanted to have my family and friends there – it just wasn’t in my plan. But, I digress…..

Wednesday morning I went down for my upper GI. One of the things that I like about this hospital is that they seem to be extremely thorough about making sure everything is EXACTLY how it should be before you are discharged from the hospital. Cathy and I went down for our upper GI’s together. We passed with flying colors! Maria passed hers too, so we were all ready to be discharged. The last thing that they had to do was remove my staples and the drain that I had been wearing all week. I was frightened of them pulling the drain, but there wasn’t really any pain. It was more so an eerie feeling like someone was running their finger over my intestines. Cathy held my hand and I was alright. I talked to one of the nurses about Concordia as an option for school. I really love the staff at the college I attend – they are always so nice to me and make me feel included in pretty much so all of my processes. I tried to attend my Org Comm. Class by phone, but I was having a lot of pain so I signed off of the call. I feel bad for not being able to attend the whole thing.

Today, I’m at Marium’s and I feel pretty good. I just took my pain meds – I’m not in GREAT pain, but it makes it so I can function close to normal. I’m moving around a lot (like the doctor told me to do) and trying to get in all of my water for the day (which is a lot harder than I thought it would be). So far, everything seems positive. I’m not really having a lot of cravings. Marium and her family are able to eat around me and I don’t feel any desire to stray off of the path I’m on, even when she talks about BBQ and candy and all of those things. I know that later on my journey, I’ll be able to eat some of the things that I used to enjoy – just not as much as I used to eat. I can remember feeling so guilty about eating so much in one sitting. Now that I have a tool to help me succeed, I think things will be a lot different. But, as a precaution to make sure, I do think that I am going to start seeing a psychologist again. With Richard being 1600 miles away and this surgery being one of my defining victories, I need someone who can help me process all of this. I think that would be excellent for my healing and life change.